A few weeks ago in the Palliative care ward I sat with a woman who had the same clear intelligent eyes as the woman above — only she was much older (in her nineties). We introduced ourselves and spoke about the weather and where we each born and raised. There was a moment of silence and she said, “What shall we talk about next?” I told her that I would like to hear stories from her life if she wanted to share them. She was very happy to do this and I found myself very interested in everything that she was saying. Afterwards I said good-bye, came right home and wrote her words down before I forgot them. Here they are:
I need to sit up; I don’t want to lie in bed.
The doctor is helping me with the pain. Today it is not so bad.
I was born in Vienna, but I’ve lived in Australia and then I came back to Vienna.
Nowadays things are very bad.
When I was young my friends and I went to concerts together
We had picnics and did other things.
Now kids walk around with their little machines, pressing buttons with their thumbs.
I married and had two sons. Boys are not as intelligent as girls. I would have liked to have had a daughter.
My husband told me we were going to Australia and so we went.
We stayed five years and then my husband’s job ended and we decided to go back to Vienna.
We told the boys that we were going back to a beautiful land.
We flew to Genoa and then took the train back to Austria.
We arrived in the middle of a cold winter.
My boys looked at all the women with grim faces holding onto their hats in the freezing wind and they said, “You lied to us. You said we were going to a beautiful place.”
My husband and I found that things back in Austria were not the same.
One of our best friends had died and others had moved away.
Within three weeks we applied to immigrate to Canada.
Someone said, “Don’t stay in the east; go as far west as you can.”
So we came to Vancouver.
I worked in the cafeteria at the airport for the Pacific Western Airlines for thirteen years.
The boys left home.
My husband and I were good friends with another couple. We did a lot of things together.
In 1980 my husband died. The wife of this other couple died.
People told us that I should marry her husband.
I was not so sure it was necessary but I did it and those twenty five years were the happiest of my life.
How do you make a happy life?
Well, you have to make your own life happy.
No other person can make you happy.
My second husband and I travelled for 4 months of every year.
I’ve been to a lot of places.
He was ninety- five when he died. He was blind in one eye so I drove him around.
Before I came into this hospital, I lived with my son.
I don’t know him at all.
I raised him but I don’t know him.
He has is married but his wife does not live with him. They are not even separated. She has a big house down the road.
When she has no one else to go out with to dinner, she goes out with him.
What kind of life is this?
You are spending a lot of time with me; is there not anyone else in here that you want to talk to?
My son eats whatever does not eat him.
He eats cold food or hot food. It doesn’t matter. He eats in front of the television. I eat my meals separately.
I don’t know my son at all.
Years ago I lent him $200,000. I told him to pay it back when he is able.
He gave some to his wife to buy a $29,000 Mercedes.
He used the rest to pay down the mortgage for his big house.
A little while ago I said to my son, “You didn’t pay back the money I lent you.”
He got very red in the face.
“Why do you have such a good memory?” He shouted at me! “ You always remember every little tiny detail about everything!”
You know, I don’t mind. I don’t need that money. What would I do with it now?
